Mothering Many: An interview with Kim Forsee

WHERE DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY LIVE?

  We live in Trafalgar, Indiana.  My husband is the pastor of the Franklin Pilgrim Holiness Church in Franklin, Indiana.

HOW MANY CHIDREN DO YOU HAVE AND WHAT ARE THEIR AGES?

We have eight sons: Luke is eighteen, Ben is sixteen, Ethan is thirteen, Evan is eleven, Adam is nine, Caleb is six, Levi is four, and Marcus is one.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A MOM?

Oh dear, where do I begin? I love everything about being a mom!  I love the hugs, laughter, joy, curiousity and excitement of children.  I even love the work that comes along with being a momma of eight boys. (Cleaning, cooking, encouraging, correcting, etc.) When I was a child my favorite activity was always playing house. Now I'm doing it for real and couldn't be happier!  Truly children are a gift from the Lord! We are so blessed to have a quiver full of them.

WHAT DO YOU THINK MIGHT BE THE TOUGHEST THING ABOUT HAVING SO MANY CHILDREN OR HAVING CHILDREN AT ALL ?

The responsibilty that we have to get our children to heaven is the thing that weighs heaviest on my heart. Life is hectic and has a way of sidetracking us from the ultimate purpose of winning our children for Christ. We must constantly be on our guard against unnecessary "busy-ness" and work diligently to keep our priorities in the correct order. As much as I love mothering my children, I would rather not experiece this earthly joy than have one of these precious souls spend eternity in hell.

HOW DO YOU KEEP UP WITH EVERYTHING?

First and most importantly, I begin each day by worshipping God. I have learned from experience that I do not have the strength to face what lies ahead without His help. If I give in to the temptation to skip my devotions, the day is inevitably a disaster. The more I have to do, the more I need Him!

Following the advice of the song writer: "I go to Him for blessings and He gives them "o're and o're."  I ask His help on everything from organization to discipline, and He never fails to give me exactly what I need.   It never ceases to amaze me just how much He loves and cares about the details of our lives. Of course, all this means getting up before the children, but what a difference it  makes in the day!  Truly one cannot outgive the Lord. He daily loadeth us with benefits!

Secondly, I have many helpers.  We have our home divided into zones, so that within fifteen minutes the house can be company-ready.  This has proven to be a great blessing. We homeschool and things can unravel quickly with little ones on the prowl.  We can pause, clean our zones, and be back to school in minutes.

DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE TO SHARE ABOUT ORGANIZATION/HOUSEWORK/ LAUNDRY?

1.) Less is definitely best.  Not only do many "things" require more maintenance, it is more difficult to stay organized. How much better it is to simplify.

2.)  Children are a great asset. It is imperative to teach children a solid work ethic, and what better way than involving them in housework and chores. Not only does it take the load off you, it builds their character and prepares them for the future. Their whole life will be spent as a homemaker or a provider for their family, and it only stands to reason they learn the foundation for that now. We disservice them for life by allowing them to be be lazy and irresponsible.

3.)  A little means a lot: Laundry is a never ending chore; but I have found that that a few loads each day (washing, drying, folding and putting away), makes it managable. Staying on top of it keeps the household running smoothly and keeps me from being overwhelmed. Once again, less is best. 

YOU COOK FOR AN ARMY OF BOYS.  WHAT ARE YOUR KITCHEN SECRETS?

People often ask my husband and I how we can afford to feed so many boys! I generally reply that children are a blessing from the Lord and whether you have two or twenty, He will provide for them....and He does!  It always thrills me to see God daily providing  for our needs, and often our wants. Our kids are not disserviced in any way from being part of a large family. In fact, they benefit from it!

A couple of things I do to help with the grocery budget is to......

 1.) Cook from "scratch": Cooking from scratch is much easier and quicker than it might seem. It is also healthier and saves money as prepared foods are more expensive.

2.) Work from a menu: At the beginning of each week I make a menu, from which I make my shopping list.  This way I have all I need to make my meals.  It takes the stress out of wondering what to cook for meals; and it saves money from unnecessary purchases.

HOW DO YOU MAKE TIME FOR  YOURSELF? YOUR HUSBAND?

I have been blessed with a wonderful  husband who encourages me to take time for myself. He has always been willing to do housework, or keep the children when I need alone time.  We couldn't do this without each other. Also, putting the children to bed a little earlier allows for "me time." 

As for spending time with my husband, it hasn't always been easy.  We have been very protective of our children and not made a practice of leaving them with others.  In the beginning of our ministry, living far from home, we simply spent our time together. Believe me, one hasn't had a memorable date until they've dated with five children under twelve years of age! (;  Couples do need "date time," so this was a sacrifice for us, but it is one that we have not regretted. We've never had to worry about who or what was influencing them outside of our supervision. Now that we are closer to family (and have older children) who are willing to babysit, we have more opportunities to be alone! It also provides our older children with extra spending money. 

WHAT ARE FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE CHILD TRAINING TIPS?

1. Character Counts: "Spoiled rotten" isn't a desirable attribute. A spoiled child thinking the world revolves around them, grows up to be good for nothing. They inevitably have conflict with their parents, peers, spouses, those in authority over them, and even God. Parents shouldn't spoil their children, or allow others to do so. Spoiling children is not loving them.

2.  Sassiness Stinks: It may seem cute when a toddler is sassy, but if we don't want sassy and disobedient teens, then we cannot allow it when they are small.  If it's not cute at 13, then it's not cute at 3. 

3. Obedience is Non-Negotiable: Expect children to obey immediately. If children do not learn to obey early in life, they will have a hard time later on submitting to God. Life is happier and more peaceful when children are well disciplined.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                4. Kindliness is next to Godliness : Teach children to be kind as Jesus was.  Kind children will grow up to be kind adults who bless the world around them. The best way to accomplsh this is for parents to exemplify kindness as their children are growing up. The reason so many children are rude, mean and ill-mannered is because mom and dad have modeled that behavior.

HOW DO YOU NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?

When I was seeking for heart holiness, God showed me that He had to be first.  As a result,  I begin each day with my devotions.  God comes first, so if I do not have time to have my devotions, I do not have time for Facebook, reading, or any of my hobbies. I find that holding myself to this standard of discipline and consistency does indeed bring spiritual victory!

IS IT DIFFICULT HAVING A LARGE FAMILY AND KEEPING UP WITH THE EXPECTATIONS OF BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE?

I don't think so. My order of responsibilities are God, my family and then the church.  I love being a pastor's wife, and am very involved in the church, but remembering my priorities takes the stress off  me personally.  At this time in my life,  I am called first to be a wife and a mother.  I cannot afford to "get in bondage" to what I perceive to be others expectations. It is God's expectations that matter most.

WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE QUOTES?

"Many hands make light work."

WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE SCRIPTURES?

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence  cometh my help.  My help comes from the Lord which made heaven and earth.  He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.    Psalms 121:1-3

DO YOU EVER GET DISCOURAGED OR DEPRESSED?  HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?

I have found that discouragement and depression often come from comparing ourselves with others, and feeling that we fall short. We see others who have gifts that we don't, and we begin to develop feelings of insignificance and inferiority.  Why can't I have the gift of teaching or hospitality? Why can't I be more like so and so?  Thankfully, II Corinthians 10:12 tells us that those who "compare themselves among themselves are not wise."  And Paul reminds us again in 1 Corinthians 12 that the diversity of gifts in the body of Christ was created by God, distributed according to His will, and works together for His glory.

When I am tempted to compare, I remind myself of these truths and don't allow myself to fall into this dangerous trap. I ask God to help me recognize the value of the role I have been given and be content.   

  

Discouragement also comes from lack of trust. Life can be very challenging and when we do not excercise the faith in God we should, we inevitably suffer from anxiety, fear and even despair.

How unnecessary!  I love the hymn that says "Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." God does not want us to live in the darkness of depression, but with a simple trust in Him.  He is our Father! He loves and is watching over us! He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory! He will use lifes trials to make us more Christlike! We can cast our cares upon Him knowing He cares for us! It never ceases to amaze me how He is ALWAYS there when we go to Him with our needs.  That is how I deal with those hard times in life.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY TO CHRISTIAN MOMS EVERYWHERE?

Our homes don't need to be perfect, just happy.  When stress comes, {and it will}, consider your blessings.  There are many women who would love to be in your shoes.  Children grow up quickly, and one day our homes will be silent.  There will be no babies to rock, no toys to pick up, no mounds of laundry to do, and no finger prints on the walls! Most likely we will remember these days with fond memories, and wish we could go back and live them again. Why not relax and enjoy them now? Remember, as women we make our homes what they are.

If you need help with the challenge at hand, stop and pray.  Our God is a wonderful Heavenly Father who loves us very much. If something is important to us, it is important to Him! He desires our success and is waiting for us to ask Him for assistance. He will not turn us away. Proverbs 3:5-6 says "If we will trust in Him with all our heart and lean not to our own understanding; in all our ways acknowledge Him....He will direct our path."  He will indeed use us as "keepers of the home" to make our homes a haven, as full of joy and stress free as possible. He will use us accomplish His purposes and bring glory to His name! Truly, we are too blessed to be stressed.


_____________________________________________________________

Kim Ellers Forsee grew up in Crooksville, OH, where her parents pastored the Crooksville, Pilgrim Holiness Church. She graduated from Crooksville High School in 1990, and attended God's Bible School and College for 2 years, majoring in Elementary Education. She completed her studies at the University of Cincinnati, graduating with a BA in history from the College of Arts and Sciences. She married Tim Forsee in 1993, and they have 8 children together. They have ministered together in churches in Ontario, Canada, upstate NY, and Franklin, IN. They have been in the ministry 18 years. Kim enjoys being a mom, home schooling, hosting Ladies Nights at her church, and serving their congregation any way she can.